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We have a safety word for all kinds of sex, and that’s usually ‘No’. ‘Some people who are complete novices might think, “If I need a safety word, this must be some really scary play”, but it really isn’t. 'The concept of a safety word can be daunting.' Jess says that it’s important, therefore, to establish a safety word before you begin: ‘It means everyone knows that there’s complete trust in the scenario, and you know that just saying one word will stop play immediately.’ Bedroom games may be a good place to start - they require and imply a surrender of control, by the restrained partner to the active partner. Trust and communication is keyīondage for beginners means starting slowly, and trying it with someone you trust. Just because you’ve tried something once, that doesn’t mean you have to keep trying if you don’t like it – no one’s going to make you eat a second korma! 4. If you want to stick to korma, that’s fine.

There’s no reason why when you’re in a curry house, anyone’s going to force you to have a vindaloo. Or to put it in best vibrators speak, it's like a bullet – entry-level. Bondage for beginners is like the korma of fetish play. In the same way, when you say ‘curry’ to someone then they might think, ‘oh my god, that’s hot and spicy and I can’t stand spicy food – it’s vindaloo’.Īnd yes, that does exist, but there’s still korma. When you say ‘bondage’ to someone, they think ‘whips and chains and scary stuff’. According to Jess, ‘the world of bondage is like the world of curries. Don’t be put off by misconceptions about bondageīondage has something of a reputation, but it can actually be a very romantic way of enhancing a relationship. Our guides to how to be intimate and how to talk to your partner about a fetish might help. Getting them used to the idea might change their perspective a little bit.’ Plant the seed in your partner’s mind that it might be something you want to try. ‘That’s the very first step, before you even look at products. She recommends getting hold of some erotic fiction, or maybe a DVD to watch in the comfort of your own home. This is something that Wilde is used to: ‘Never mind not knowing what to buy, a lot of our customers don’t necessarily know how to say to their partner, ‘Oh hey, honey, can you tie me up and spank me tonight?’ – it’s not the easiest thing to throw out there.’ Many people are put off experimenting with bondage for beginners because they don’t know how to broach the subject with their partner. PSA: brand new Tinder dates are out, as is anyone you've just met online – even if you did find them through the very best dating sites the internet has to offer. Don't try it with strangersįirst things first: Experts recommend that you don’t embark on your first bondage experience with a near-stranger. View Deal Bondage for beginners - how to do bondage, according to the experts 1.

Karma sutra sex positions ice cube trays